Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
