I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
