His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
