you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
