Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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