We won't sleep together?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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