He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
