My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
