Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
