ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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