take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
