Operation Purity has been aborted
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
