there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
