flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
