i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
