.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
