my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
