I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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