Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
