and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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