His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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