Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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