ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
