At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
