He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
