This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
