I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
