I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
