i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
