I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
