She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
