i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
