My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
