Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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