you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
