is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
