I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm at about main and main street
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
