guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize