my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We are all done wearing pants today
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
