I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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