So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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