Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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