Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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