hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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