Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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