And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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