Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he was CRYING into my vagina
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
