She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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