i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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