oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
