He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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