I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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