you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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