thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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