Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
