I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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