just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
