So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
