Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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