I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
