Your face is a jimmy john
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Randomize
